1/29/2008
1/29/08 
Here' a quote from DF, overheard in conversation 1/27/08:

" Incidentally - at this point, don't you think Obama should be wearing an armored suit and helmet at all his public appearances? I don't mean to be paranoid - I'm only mentioning it because of what happened to other nationally important black or left-liberal types the other... 12 or 13 times before..."

1/14/2008
1/14/08 
hey fanattics,
--- just talked to my brother who is convinced that, if you close your eyes, Barack Obama sounds exactly like Richard Boone, the actor who played Paladin on HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL. I'm too young to have seen the show, but I once saw him in this totally bizarre no-budget film where he plays a guy who takes a job as the executive in charge of a cemetary. He was great. In the office, Richard Boone has this big map of all the plots in the graveyard. Every time he sticks a pin in the map to indicate where someone will be buried, THEY DIE THAT NIGHT! ----------- MMWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaah!

Anyhow, my brother emailed the photo below, i guess by way of hilarious collegiate-type humor...

3/20/2007
3/18/07 
My shrink says it would be self-liberating to occasionally post one of these heinous, cringe-a-delic communications from my Noids. So here goes:

Alexis darling,

We're so excited that Steely Dan is playing in Lucca at the same time we're going to be in Pisa. You know that your father has never seen them ever! Are you going to be there?

Lewis will be traveling with us! He's back home again. We even cleared out his old room so maybe he'll be so comfortable, he'll stay for a while.

It will be wonderful to have him in Italy because it's like having a tour guide - he knows the names of the Dukes and the Popes, and who murdered who and who slept with who and so on. Also the painters and the best museums and restaurants.

We're driving home from Florida on Friday. Be well darling,

Mom

3/7/2007
3/5/07 
Intercepted copy of a DF email:

March 5 2007
The following takes place between 6:00 PM and 6:07 PM:

Transmitted over secure virgin com-socket to: Irving Azoff

Irving:
Beau Szilard, the efficiency consultant I hired from CTU MY WORKPLACE has completed his report. Copies are being prepared and will be distributed on Monday morning.

But after an initial sit-down with Beau this afternoon, I have a pretty good idea of what has to happen here. Irv, you're going to be the President of the United States of America.

Chris and Monica will have to learn the basic operating functions of all the new state-of-the-art surveillance equipment I've ordered and run the administration office according to Beau's protocol set. Also, John is building them a road-worthy second-tier office with this really hip subterranean lighting scheme and they'll have that criss-crossy stuff on the windows too.

Harry will be, like, the guy from Division.

Naturally, the Kiefer Sutherland role will be taken collectively by Walter and myself - you know,the outlaw field agent who makes all the hard decisions, shoots first and thinks outside the box, who has the cajones to slit his grandmother's throat with a fruit knife if Band Security depends on it - in otherwords, our usual schtick, only more so (I haven't exactly cleared this with WB yet but I know he'll fall right in step - he loves this kind of stuff).

Skip G. can be like that computer expert Chloe, only a guy. He's the man-child who combines high-tech chops and razor-sharp instincts with a naive candor that transcends politics and adminstration hierarchy.

We haven't assigned the other roles as yet, but Cindy and Carolyn are in the first slot for on-site babes from the D.O.D.

Of course, the added risks we'll be taking will necessitate bigger guarantees for those in harm's way - I hope you see where we're going with this. Do you copy?

Donald Fagen
CODE: MORPH.48

3/1/2007
3/1/07 
LF reports:

Hey Lex,
The mystery of why DF has been unreachable is solved. No, he wasn't abducted by Jaimee Gumm or kidnapped by Moro pirates. It turns out that some idiot gave him a DVD of "24: Season One" and now, having obtained the 4 remaining seasons, he's been holed up in his apartment for eight days with his new best friend Jack Bauer.

Can you believe it? Is this the same guy who always talks about how much he despises TV? OK, on DVD, you don't have to watch the commercials. But, let's face it, the show's just as cheesy as any episode of, say, "Mannix", only all sped up and seasoned with Abu Graib-era sado-masochism.

[I wonder what that old hippie Donald Sutherland thinks about his kid being the poster child for the new America the Merciless. He's probably like, oh well, a few more doubloons in the family chest couldn't hurt.]

Maybe DF will appear on stage in May in cammys packing one of those fly Ouzi handguns.

Out,
Lewis